When I work with clients, I aim to declutter the areas that drain them the most, including:
Gone are the things that do not serve us and that feels great…but have you also noticed how often they come around again? A lot of the times, the kind of things from the above list that we tend to accumulate comes from somewhere deep within us. What voids are you trying to fill?
In my reality, it is just as vital to train ouselves to become gatekeepers to our precious lives as it is to actually declutter the negativity in the first place. We are in charge, we allow what can cross the boundaries, we set those very boundaries. We are in charge of what we give to others and how we respond to people trying to cross our boundaries.
To me, boundary setting is a beautiful thing. Just like fences, walls, signs etc tell us where a property starts and ends, boundaries clarify what we are and what we are not. Boundary setting creates so much freedom, have you thought about that? Because I know what I own and what is my responsibility, I can do whatever I want with that space. I can make myself happier and healthier, I can change and grow. I can connect with people on a deeper and meaningful level. I stop wasting energy on things that I can and should not control. Things that are not my responsibility.
Setting boundaries has been insanely hard work for me, and I will continue the work for as long as I live because I constantly step out of my comfort zone. What have I practised to come out on the other side with a healthier relationship to myself and others, more time to do meaningful things, more space to thrive and care?
- I have learned that NO is a complete sentence.
- I keep reminding myself that I am responsible for myself and to others. I cannot control other people’s reactions when I set my boundaries, but I can control how I respond to them. I stand my ground, knowing it will benefit us all.
- I make sure that good things come into my body and the waste products come out of it.
- I have no obligation to be emotionally involved with every single person’s wellbeing and that is OK (but oh-so-hard to accept). I choose more wisely now and occasionally detach myself in situations that could harm me.
- I ask for help. Now, I am mainly writing this one because I am still not close to where I want to be, but know how vital it is for many of us who have grown up with a “lone wolf” mentality, causing distorted independence leading to exhaustion and burn-out.
Would you like some help setting boundaries in any area of your life, whether it is about people, work load, house items, internal behaviours etc. I offer 1:1 coaching! Get in touch for a FREE discovery call here.
Also, we will dedicate a whole month to powerful boundaries in my upcoming semi-online course #FromDrainedToLiveWire. Interested in finding out more? Email me here to sign up for my newsletter. Lots of hugs, Elvira.